Relationship vs friendship

Which is better and why do they always seem to collide?

Nobody seems to win..it ultimately ends up one or the other and occasionally both..things get serious and you fall in love and just want to be with that person always..and your friends feel like they are being left behind and second best..this may not have been my relationship but mine didnt work out and i always think if i had of paid more attention to my relationship i'd still be in it..not that i'd trade my friendships..see the dilemma? it seems to just be one or the other..

Maybe it all comes down to jealously? Jealously of someone having something you dont? Jealous that a friend thinks higher of someone else?

Maybe its just change..not everybody likes change. When a friend starts being around less it becomes harder to find someone to talk to..have fun with and just be there?

Maybe its fear?..The fear of losing someone? Losing a friend..losing the security of having someone that is always available when your upset..

But whats worth it in the end? Your with someone who loves you and ultimately becomes your best friend..the person who knows you inside out and you can vent to..

People just surprise you..when you think you can trust them they go and prove you cant..in friendships and in love..when you think you have someone you can confide in they prove you cant..when you give someone your heart they give it back..or shatter it..

so basically..i think ur dammed if you do and ur damned if you dont..you cant just live in a cave because ppl will treat you like dirt from time to time..thats the game of life and its shit sometimes..you can just learn from your mistakes and not make them twice..

Different Life

Last night i was walking through the city..walking up a hill i used to walk up everyday for work..walked passed somewhere we used to always meet for lunch..

feels like i have this different life to 3 months ago..I had a full time job..boyfriend and everything really was just easiar back then.. not saying my life is shit now a days..i prefer this casual working life..i cant wait to uni..even being single is nice..its nice just to worry about myself for a change..

i was just more comfortable with my old life..

Charlies Angels 3

Im sooooooooooo excited to just read its in the works..

according to Perez Hilton there may even be talks of a fourth angel..

Yayyyyy!

I fly

Funny Story..

An older man came into work tonight..he has this accent its sort of..french/croation if u can imagine that..and he always asks me if im getting to married..(seriously every time he comes through my register)..and the answer is always no..(obviously)..he's not hitting on me and he's no creep hes just friendly..

Tonight he goes to me "Katieeeee are you married yet"
"No im not."
"Whyyy not?"
"Im just not."
"But why? You have serious boyfriend yes?"
"No we just broke up"
"Aww..so sorry to hear..oh well just be careful..all boys they just want one thing"
"Yeah thats true"
"But thats okay..when your ready you can present yourself to one and you know what you say?
I fly virgin airways"

LMAO..can you imagine a customer saying this to you? Awkward..

Grateful..

Life is pretty interesting hey..always expect the unexpected..

so ive been going through this stage thinking no one wants me..then today at work i found out i could of been up for a big promotion..biggest for someone my age..and although i wont take it because of uni just being considered was great..

And i finalised all my uni stuff today and i just cant wait to start..start this new..chapter i guess? (not stealing your stuff laura i swear)..Im happy with the way my life has worked out..I feel im more ready for uni then i would of been last year..more mature in some kind of way..last year i probably would of blown things off and gone out too much where this year i know what the party and working full time life is..

I finally sent the message i'd been wanting to send for a while..to you to catch up and start the just friends part..and it felt really good..i miss our friendship and im excited to start that..things in hindsight happened for the best..it had been coming for a little while and its good that one of us didnt end up doing something that would destroy the friendship..so im grateful for that..

In fact I have a lot to be grateful for..

One more thing..

Thanks to my beautiful friends who can always make me smile!

Inspiring

Some quotes that inspire me -

"The most decisive actions of our life ... are most often unconsidered actions." André Gide

"Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back." Arthur Rubinstein

"Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed." Corita Kent

These three really stand out for me all in different ways..

I really like the last one the part where it says flowers grow out of dark moments..something good can arise from something bad..the dark parts will make the bright parts so much more rewarding..

Seconds

Warning : Emo

I dont like being someones second. I dont like being the "friend". I dont like that ppl come over just to ask me if my friend has a boyfriend. Im tired of being the second choice. Im tired of only being the person to hang out with if you have no one else. Im tired of feeling second best.

What hurts the most? You were the first person to see me for me..before my friends and even love me the most after..and you didnt want me anymore..

I want to be someones number one.

Best Friends

"Make new friends, but keep the old; Those are silver, these are gold. New-made friendships, like new wine, Age will mellow and refine. Friendships that have stood the test -Time and change - are surely best; Brow may wrinkle, hair grow gray, Friendship never knows decay. For 'mid old friends, tried and true, Once more we our youth renew. But old friends, alas! may die, New friends must their place supply. Cherish friendship in your breast-New is good, but old is best; Make new friends, but keep the old; Those are silver, these are gold." Joseph Parry

Im learning that this is true..I just had a fight with my oldest best friend and we were both so angry..we were both in the frame of mind of not talking for a long time..said things which hurt each other..but you know what?..we can make it up and let it all go..we can say sorry and just laugh..we can dance together all night and keep saying i love you i miss you..because thats just us..we're not perfect and we know that every now and then

Friendships are funny things..its strange how even though someone is so close to you its easy to be so jealous of them and resent them for things they have and you dont..but then one day you just think what the fuck am i doing?

Friends dont judge but you avoid them all the same because they will be honest..its like in sex and the city the movie..where samantha gets fat and avoids mirrors and then comes back to her friends and they were the three mirrors she couldnt avoid..(yes sex and the city is my life)..we avoid the wake up call and the lecture we know thats coming when we tell them something that not even we want to say out loud..something we know deep down is wrong but settle anyway.

On the topic of friendships..im the only single one and you know what? Thats okay! Really..i have my best friend..I have good health..i have good ppl in my life..and i just got into the uni course i want! Dare I say im going places in life?

"My Zen teacher also said the only way to true happiness is to live in the moment and not be worried about the future". Carrie Sex and the City

AMEN!

p.s I love Someday Soon by natalie bassingthwaighte..its a good one..

Learning

So the more im getting into the single life the more i look back on things i did wrong..things i shouldnt of apologised for..things i shouldnt of sacraficed to make you happy..

Basically i'd like to put it out there to ppl that you should never sacrafice or apologise for things you dont believe so..dont put your happiness aside for someone elses because in the end its never enough and hurts you more..

i get it that all my posts are all about my break up and im probably being a little more dramatic but..this is somewhere i can say all these things without someone saying "all you talk about is adam"..this is somewhere i can say things without eyes rolling or me wondering am i talking about it too much?

All considered i think im doing well..i even consider myself..happy? Im not over the moon..but i am enjoying the single life..bring on the wkn!

Confidence

Its something i dont understand..

We only feel confident if someone tells us how good we look or shows a bit of interest..and when no one shows us any attention we wonder whats wrong with us and why no one wants us..

We lose all confidence in situations where we're interested in someone yet that person is interested in someone else especially a friend..

It makes no sense that self confidence feels like it comes from other people..yet when we get to 40 we look back and go i looked so much better than why did i worry so much about what other people think?

I'd like to let go and stop worrying..

New Years

New Years..its a time to party..its a time to make new resolutions..an excuse to drink too much and a time to be around the ppl you love..a time to let go of 2008 and welcome 2009..

Im not too big on new years resolutions..i dont really see the point like if you want to quit smoking or lose weight you could make that resolution anyday..but in saying that i do have things i want to do in 09 and i have set myself some goals..these goals are ones i've always had and that will just take place in 2009 like seeing out a semester of uni etc..

Everything happens for a reason..This is true..i just watched some alarming videos and watching them was a real eye opener..that what happened was for the best..

I also had a good new years..unexpectedly good so a big thank you to the ppl who made it good!

Incase you hadnt heard on nova the top song was my people by the presets..that song describes my year in 2008..the thing that stands out most for me is not the break up, the job, the accident it was the four friends i've made..they are so special to me and they made 2008 great!

Happy new years!