I am alive..thats how I want to start off..
I heard some bad news yesterday about a family friend..devastating news..
What would you do if you were told you had 12 months left to live? Would you be happy with your life so far? Would you be comfortable with the time you've spent on this earth? Would you finally do that the things I want to do before i die list? Would you live everyday to the craziest and fullest? Or would you just spend it with your friends and family?
I dont know how i'd feel..I worry too much about what ppl think..i'd love to just break free of the worry and just do what i want to and say what i feel..i never want to hurt ppls feelings so i hold things in..when i really want to say your being an idiot or what the fuck are you doing..i just stand back and nod because i dont want to upset someone..I dont express all of my opinions because i dont want to be labelled as a bitch..I dont send the angry text messages when im upset because i dont want to cause more conflict so ppl never really understand how I feel..im having one of those no one really knows me days..
But this all does not matter..while im wondering about this crap ppl are going through hell when i have the world at my feet..How can we make this world a better place? I want to be a teacher because i feel its somehow my way of helping..I aim to be one of those great teachers the ones you talk about who made the classroom fun..I want to help kids who struggle..i want to make an impact on someones life to make their world a better place..
yes i am aware im starting to sound like a beauty queen smiling and saying 'world peace' but thats not it..i understand that the world will never be that way..Its like from a walk to remember "without suffering there would be no compassion"..
Anyways..to my family friend..my thoughts are with you and your family in probably the worst time of your lives..May miracles come your way!
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2 comments:
wow katie.
I am the same! It's freaky how the same I am.
I never say when I am angry or disagree with the people I care about for exactly the same reasons as you. I totally understand were you're coming from. I've avoided fights and not sent the angry text so many times.
And I wanted to be a teacher for the same reasons as you too!
All the best to you and your family friend.
saying what you feel is important
dont hold back
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