Me

So today I started uni..my first day of orientation..my first day at the place I will be spending the next four years..the place im sure i'll meet many new ppl and have lots of experiences..

I have a mixed bag of emotions to say the least..Im scared of failing because I was never the smart girl I was the girl who studied hard and only ever got the odd A once in a blue moon..Im nervous about starting all this over again like writing an assignment and studying..im excited because everything is all new again and I have missed the learning aspect..im impatient because its still all so confusing and I look forward to when I'll know it all..im also excited because I enjoy education well I enjoyed the bits of early education I did in high school..Change is scary and exciting..

And in regards to my lovely bitchy post the other night it really helped and I am okay..I am sort of at peace you could say..Im not the least bit jealous or comparing myself to your new girlfriend because it really doesnt worry me in that way..i was merely disappointed you couldnt have been honest with me..I do believe that I am over you..I know i will always have a soft spot for you because you were my first love but so much time has passed our relationship feels like a lifetime ago..the cruise was the best because life really goes on and small things arent the end of the world..what happened between us was not my fault and nothing i could of done would of changed it and even if it did it wouldnt of been right..I dont want to see you again though not for now..lets face it we dont live in each others worlds anymore and thats okay..I like it this way..

I love my life right now..I have great friends..Ive made new ones and gotten to know old ones a lot better which is great..I love the newness of uni..I love being carefree..I know im not miss total carefree and I can be uptight but they are just my beliefs and I'll do what I feel is right..I guess im the only one who knows my boundaries and I can push them but i cant break them down just to conform into someone elses idea of 'carefree'..im me and thats okay..

And Im not afraid of falling again..getting hurt is apart of life and it's taught me a lot..I look forward to the day of finding someone who wants to make me their world..